Inner bonding is a powerful six-step self-healing process that offers a road map for learning to love yourself created by the amazing Margaret Paul. Learning and practising these six steps will gradually result in loving yourself rather than continuing to abandon yourself.
So let’s take a look at the six steps of healing yourself through Inner Bonding:
Step 1, you move into the present moment and focus within, tuning into your feelings and emotions. You make the choice to be mindful of all your feelings, including your painful feelings, rather than protect against them with substance and process addictions. You make a conscious decision that you WANT to take responsibility for your feelings, which means that you want responsibility for learning how you are causing your own anxiety, depression, anger, guilt and shame with your own thoughts and actions, and that you want responsibility for learning how to nurture the painful feelings of life – the loneliness, heartbreak and grief that are so challenging.
Step 2, you focus in your heart and invite the compassionate presence of your higher self into your heart.
Now you’re ready to focus on “intent” – your deepest desire, your primary motivation. There are only two possible intents you can have in any given moment:
- The intent to protect yourself from pain
- The intent to learn about loving yourself
When you are in the intent to learn you are a loving Adult. When you are in the intent to protect and avoid, you are operating from your shame-based ego wounded self.
This commitment to your intention to learn fully opens you up and allows you to connect with your feelings and your higher self.
Step Three- Learn about your false beliefs:
Step three is a deep and compassionate process of exploration — of learning about your beliefs and behaviour, and about what is happening with a person or situation that may be causing your pain. Ask your feeling self — your inner child — “What am I thinking or doing that’s causing the painful feelings of anxiety, depression, guilt, shame, jealousy, anger, loneliness or emptiness?” Allow the answer to come from inside — from your feelings.
Step Four- Dialogue with your higher self: It isn’t as hard to connect with your higher guidance as you may think. The key is to be open to learning about loving yourself. The answers may come immediately or over time. They may come in words or images or in dreams. When your heart is open to learning, the answers will come.
Step Five- Take the loving action learned in step four: You’ve opened up to your pain, moved into learning, started a dialogue with your feelings, and tapped into your spiritual guidance. In step five, you take the loving action that, over time, heals the shame, anxiety and depression that have been the result of your self-abandonment.
Step Six- Evaluate your action: Once you take the loving action, you check in to see if your pain, anger and shame are getting healed. If not, you go back through the steps until you discover the truth and loving actions that bring you peace, joy, and a deep sense of intrinsic worth.
We started our inner bonding by reading the inner bonding book , it explains in detail what inner bonding is all about and how it can help you change your life for ever and all your relationships including the one you have with yourself
We read becoming a loving adult to your inner child first and then we moved onto the course truly madly deeply in love, inner bonding is not a quick fix it is a process and life long journey of self discovery.
Click here for a more detailed steps of the inner bonding process Click here